Notes from the Field | 011

Hey friends! I have a spare minute here while the kids are watching the Muppets to say hi. So… hi! Summer is feeling very much like it did when I was a kid. It’s hot as hell but when it’s even remotely tolerable we’ve been outside. 

Last week we took a vacation to the lake to spend time with family. I’ve always wondered if I’m the only one who gets annoyed with my husband, kids, parents and siblings on family trips? I’m so jealous of people who seem to get along perfectly with their entire family because someone in our bunch is inevitably crabby.  I ended the week feeling really exhausted and bummed because it wasn’t really as fun as I had hoped for. But like my friend told me the other day, vacations with kids are just bringing your problems to a new location. And man – it stays bright really late in Michigan! We were lucky to wind out kids down by 10pm and then we took turns sleeping with one kid in the bed and one on cushions on the floor. 

Anyways, I really do understand there are worse problems in the world than having a vacation dealing with all sorts of over tired people. I think about that a lot actually. I have a really nice life and I’m really grateful. I also know that hard is hard and it’s ok to be frustrated with your circumstances. I really don’t have the right balance figured out, but probably like many of you, I’m working on it. 

Speaking of feeling lucky, I spent most of Saturday in a daze and counting my blessing after the kids and I were hit by another car in an accident. Everyone, including the other drivers, was ok, and out of the three cars involved, only one needed towed. The experience was jolting emotionally and made me feel so stupid about the little things I’ve complained about recently (such as the aforementioned vacation grumbles). Those kinds of sharp impacts really do snap you into sort of an existential quest. 

The other take away I had from the accident was the sincere kindness of strangers. No less than three cars stopped to help direct traffic before the sheriff arrived (this all occurred on a state highway which is pretty busy in the summertime). A neighbor of mine nearby helped me get in touch with my husband and held my kids while I talked to firefighters, EMT and the sheriff. Everyone was really amazing. And the thing that crossed my mind in hindsight was this – no one stopped before helping the other person to ask “who did you vote for last election?” or “who do you pray to?” or “tell me your thoughts on gun control?” None of it. People are people. And if I completely disregarded social media I’d probably walk around this world really delighted that mankind is so… kind. And really, at the core of my heart, I do believe almost everyone just wants the best for their families and communities. I’m starting to feel like politicians and the (enormous and corporate) machines behind them are playing on single issues to turn us all against one another.

I’m going to let those thoughts simmer a little before I write about them more, but imagine what could happen in a third viable party – run by women, was like “ENOUGH OF THIS BULL SHIT DUDEZ! We’re not getting anything done!”? Will it happen in my lifetime? Could I be a part of it? All things to think about. 

I’ll jump away with that. And leave you with some of my latest photos from rolling with my homies (err… children) on drivenaps around the countryside. And from my kitchen and backyard. 

And… does anyone read this anymore? Until next time….


Comments

10 responses to “Notes from the Field | 011”

  1. Ashley Benson Avatar
    Ashley Benson

    YES, at least one person is still reading. And at least one person is TOTALLY ON BOARD with your 3rd party run by women idea. <3 <3 <3

  2. Lynn McLaughlin Avatar
    Lynn McLaughlin

    I appreciate sharing about your vacation, I sooo feel the same way, thinking I am the only one struggling with that. I am finding them very exhausting those family times, trying to figure out they work, and why does everyone else, at least to me, look like they got this all figured out. I think family vacations were the best when I was a non adult. I could just go play,,,, now I have to do the planning and paying and deal with everyone’s mood, which isn’t as fun as just being able to play. That’s my thought anyway. But, I am challenged by them. I have been reading your blog for about three years, and I liked your fashion, your down to earth, creative style. I love to follow your creativity. I too I am trying to redo our house by repurposing, wish I could find as beautiful floors as you. But, I will say, I do not agree with you politically. Not that I am trying to pick a fight here, but to say even though I don’t agree with you politically, I still enjoy your blog and I do keep reading it. But, I agree I do think we all do want what is best for our families, and yes, I am sooo sick of the political machine. I just want to get something done too, and no one ever seems to. I what a women who has lots of kids to run, I think they would get it. Just thought I would share.

  3. Heather Vargos Avatar
    Heather Vargos

    I am! Been around since the Brooklyn days. Listen – I’ve come to terms with the fact that the only true vacation when you have babies, is when the babies stay home.

    Glad everyone is okay after your accident! <3 Sending love.

  4. STEPHANIE DICKENS Avatar
    STEPHANIE DICKENS

    Ooooh girl. We have a big family vacay at the beach every fourth of July and by day 3 everyone is OVER. EACH. OTHER. It’s so freaking exhausting. Why is that? Is it that we’re all adults now and there’s a weird power dynamic?

  5. Lisa P Avatar
    Lisa P

    Yep, I read this and I hear ya. Life is hard and anybody that says different is kidding themselves big time. Big love from a Hoosier at heart transplanted in the Buckeye state.

  6. aileen oconnell Avatar
    aileen oconnell

    I still always look forward to your posts! Love the idea of a party of women with women’s concerns treated as central. I also, however think, that just because people are nice to me, a white woman, does not mean that this is everyone’s experience. And that is why it is important to belong to the resistance and stand up for those who are treated as less than, in ways small and large, on a daily basis.

    1. Jessica Quirk Avatar
      Jessica Quirk

      You’re right. It’s hard to walk in a less comfortable pair of shoes but I think empathy is the only way we can turn things around. The complete lack of it from the extremes on both sides isn’t doing anyone any favors.

  7. Dorota Vader Avatar
    Dorota Vader

    I know that a lot of people are into co-sleeping with their kids and for anyone who feels that is right for their family, I wouldn’t ever say anything. But they way you describe it sounds like it isn’t something you’re doing by design but rather necessity so maybe consider sleep training your kids to sleep alone? You don’t have to use the barbaric cry-it-out method there are a lot of more delicate ways of doing it. Its hard work but definately worth it in my view because both you and your kids will be better rested. When we go on vacation we put my daughter (19mnths) down in a cot, have some adult time with a glass of wine and then get enough rest to take advantage of the next day. Personally, no matter where I am, I’m crabby if I’m tired 🙂

  8. daily live Avatar
    daily live

    Jess hardships are part of life. We should be facing boldly hardships of all the phases of life. Every phase has it’s charm and priorities. Currently your 95 % time is for your beautiful young ones and it should be. Don’t feel so annoyed and Don’t loose hope. Try to enjoy every phase of life with its priority. Always be happy. I must say that you are a source of motivation and energy for most of your blog fans !

  9. annie sartin Avatar
    annie sartin

    I love this post! The line "hard is hard and it’s okay to be frustrated by your circumstances" is such an important reminder. It doesn’t matter how beautiful, comfortable or "easy" your life is, you still have a right to feel frustration or anger or annoyance. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that when the guilt creeps in during a particularly rough time, like a family "vacation." Also, if this women led third party ever comes to fruition, I hope I get to be a part of it as well. Thank you for sharing!

Leave a Reply to annie sartin Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *